I am close to losing my mind...

I fully had the intention of writing a post about our Christmas. Unfortunately, that will have to wait as I am having a bit of a moment. We are on day number I have lost count since we have been in this empty house. Dave has almost finished painting the walls back to "Equity White," which I now have across the backside of the only pair of jeans that fit me well at the moment because we have been eating like crap and my belly is bloated like Santa's. My dog/puppy is a misbehaving asshole who just ate Hunter's dinner, and I'm either going to turn into an obese person from emotional eating or an alcoholic by the time I get home some time next week. I now must go sort through the stuff we have so we can decide what will make the trip and what will have to go away...and get the laundry together so I can go to the laundromat again tomorrow. 

A Few Small Kinks & Scaling Back

The people come this Friday to begin packing our household goods for the move! They start Friday, break for the weekend, and then come back and pack Monday and Tuesday...the truck gets loaded on Wednesday. Certain things need to be done prior to the move, and with Dave being in GA since the 2nd, and not scheduled to return until the end of the week, the responsibility to prep for this move rests on my and Jay's shoulders. Unfortunately this last week brought with it sub-freezing temperatures! So, none of the outdoor items have been cleaned up as planned. We're supposed to have snow tonight through tomorrow afternoon, but then it's schedule to warm up, so we will have to get it all done between Wednesday and Thursday. For now I need to focus on taking down pictures, and making sure all of our laundry is done, and the clothes that the six of us will need will be set aside.

Alyssa and I have both come down with a horrid cold. Alyssa lost her voice and just generally feels lousy, and I have the congestion and feeling of being hit by a Mac truck. My fingers are crossed that no one else falls victim to this bug, but I'm not very confident in this as Hunter was sneezing yesterday, and had an upset tummy today. So far, Jay and Tony are good, so I am definitely thankful for that!

Freezer clean out is going well (as I now apologize profusely to all of my friends and family on Facebook that have to live this out with me yet again!). I have taken on the challenge of creating meals out of what we have, and it is actually so much fun!! Last night I made a spicy red curry stew with venison, veggies, and bone broth that I pulled from the freezer. It was very tasty, and comforting. I think the bone broth combined with the Thai red chili paste was very helpful for this cold. This is what it looked like.

Spicy Red Curry Stew

I also pulled out a whole chicken and pork roast to thaw, unfortunately, it's been so cold here, and this old house with single pane windows, radiators, and bad insulation is so cold that after a full day on the counter, both were still frozen solid. I seriously could take someone out with one blow ;) That put a serious kink in the plan for tonight's dinner. Fear not, I have some seafood and veggies in the freezer that I can thaw quickly, and a jar of Green Thai chili paste, and a can of coconut milk! I may be taking the curries too far. Good thing my children have adventurous palates! I don't know how my freezer got so out of hand. But what are deep freezers for, but to store excess food for future consumption? I guess at the moment I'm feeling a little like a hoarder. Do I even NEED a deep freezer??? I know that fresh is best, but somethings like the cherries that we got this past summer only last a little while. Freezing them allows me to enjoy them now. However, I now find myself downing frozen cherries every night trying to eat them before I have to throw them out or give them away. 

This pending move has given me a little time to reflect, and re-assess the items that I thought we needed. Possibly instead of buying a bunch of stuff is not as smart as simply planning ahead and buying and eating only what we need. I think that we kind of unconsciously started doing that overall as of late. Especially with our kiddos.

I saw an article today on Facebook about a letter to Santa which was thought to be from the year 1915. The article remarked about how humble the child was, and how he only asked for a few, low key items...a book, nuts, and candy. I think this letter demonstrates how we all as a society have gotten out of hand with the needs vs. wants. Earlier in the fall, my husband and I made the decision to get rid of our teens' smart phones. Alyssa was crushed, demonstrating her dismay in a very dramatic display. Jay was okay with it. It came to light that Alyssa's reaction was driven by what her friends have and what they would think of her for not having an iPhone. My response to her was, why does your phone dictate who you are and who likes you? If people only like you for the fact that you carry an iPhone, then they probably aren't the kind of people that you should be friends with anyway. She pondered on it, and was then okay with it. By doing this, not only did we instill in our teens that WHO they are is not connected to the type of phone they carry, but we also ended up saving $40 a month on our cell phone bill. In a way, I think it was a freeing experience of various degrees for all four of us. 

We also had a talk with all four kiddos about Christmas a few weeks back. In the past Christmas has always been way over the top, and very costly. With the move coming, and us buying a house, David and I decided that we were going to trim down Christmas this year. We sat them down, and laid out the reasons, and let them know that Christmas would probably only be one or two items each from us this year. Remarkably, all four took it very well! This made me so proud that they were not upset. Fact is, that even with one or two gifts, they will still receive gifts from their grandparents and other family members, so it isn't like they will only have two gifts each. However, I think the idea of less is more is certainly being instilled in our children, they are okay with it, and I am so happy that we made the decision to scale back. Having said that, I will step down from my soap box, and tie up this post! 

The Big Move

I REALLY need to be much better about keeping up with this blog. Random posts here and there are just not going to cut it. I will be better. Exciting news to report, we are moving. And so after more than 5 years in Washington, the Polizzotti Fam is on the cusp of a new journey! So much has transpired this past year, and with the Holiday season and New Year in sight, what better time to catch up! So, before I get going, let me cover briefly what I missed...First, we found out that David was picked to command a battalion. This is an amazing accomplishment! Due to certain changes, we didn't find out where he was going to command until much later in the year. Next, we got a puppy this past April. Meet Stryker, our now 9 month old German Shepherd. Tank and Sophie are getting up in years, and having health problems, and we figured now would be the time to add a puppy into the mix so that when the time comes for them to cross the Rainbow Bridge, we will have a cold, wet, nose to comfort us. He's definitely made life interesting :)

We finally found out that David was going to command a battalion in Texas, and so the next chapter of our lives quickly opened! In fact, as I write, the hubby is at school, and comes home on the first day of packing. At this moment I'm a little afraid as I don't know quite how we will get this all accomplished between work, school, and getting ready to move across the country. Not to mention, we will be without a refrigerator for two days between it being loaded up and the housing office here replacing it with one of theirs. That will definitely put a cramp in the plan for healthy eating. 

In addition, our pack out is right smack in the middle of finals week for me. Also, due to the fact that our stuff gets picked up on the 18th, and we don't turn the house in until the 2nd of January, we will be living on air mattresses for a bit. David is quite excited by this idea...he keeps talking about a rustic Christmas with nothing but a tree in the house. I am not as excited by this idea, but I will give it a go. This should make for some very interesting blog entries ;) 

That said, there's lots of big things on the horizon in the coming weeks, hopefully this next year will begin on a very positive note, with us all in Texas in one piece! 

Spring Break, Going Back to My Roots, and Other Things

Note: I began this post a couple of weeks ago. Sorry for the delay...

Last week was Spring Break for my kids. Jay went to spring camp for JROTC, and Dave couldn't take off work, so Alyssa, Anthony, Hunter, and I packed up the car and went to visit my parents in Idaho for the week. It was such a nice break from every day life. I can't lie. My brain needed it so badly...even if I was up until 2am studying every night. I awoke every morning refreshed, and feeling great. There are never any worries or stress when I'm at my parents' house. It's like my little slice of childhood in my crazy adult world.

There are tons of neat, kitschy shops in the area surrounding where I'm parents live, and when I visit, my mom and I will go shopping. This time around, I scored a Pottery Barn table runner for $18! I love it when I can find awesome deals on quality design items. The kids also had a nice break, as the weather was perfect, and they took advantage of being outdoors for the first time in months, since it rains so much here in Washington. Hunter had his first Girl Scout cookie ever (seriously, ever). It came from Grandma, so I cannot complain. I do take a small amount of pride in the fact that the kids haven't had certain things though. Alas, I really wish that we had longer than a week to visit. I look forward to going back again this summer.

We are still awaiting our fate...whether we are going to stay here in Washington, or move elsewhere this year. While I'd certainly love a change in scenery, a big part of me would be glad to stay here, near my parents. Hopefully, the powers that be will release their decision soon.

The End of Lent and the Dawn of Change

So...it's been a while. I've been off doing lots of things, (some that I thought were important, but realized later they weren't) and making excuses of why I am too busy to write a post. Yet, I would always find myself posting meaningless tidbits of my day to day life on Facebook. For Lent this year, I decided to challenge myself and give up that which I thought was so important that it would take up countless hours of my life, and was so important that the first thing I'd do when I would awake in the morning was check on my phone to see who was doing what, and where, and who. I began by deleting the app off of my phone. I knew if I had easy access, my plan would go down in flames on the first day. The first week was hard. I'd find myself having a lull in my day, and I'd scroll through my apps only to find Facebook was no longer there. By week two, it was much easier. I'm glad to say that I made it through. 

In retrospect, I have found that there are a lot of unimportant things that keep us connected to Facebook. I don't need to post about my trip to the gym, or where I am, etc. I also don't need to hear about all of the negativity and drama that comes along with Facebook. I have to say that my life has been quite enjoyable without having to worry about whether or not I offended someone with a post I've made, or if someone has offended me. I did realize that I miss the old friends and family members that I live far away from of which Facebook is the easiest, and probably only way that we can keep in touch in this digital day and age. So, I am back on the Facebook with a more tempered outlook and use for it. 

Now, on to Easter. The time of renewal which coincides with spring, another time of renewal. What can I say? I have recently gotten off track with myself. I started out last year embarking on a journey to wellness and health, as well as looking for ME. For a short period of time, I had found myself again, and had achieved my goal of physical health and wellness, only to morph into another unhealthy mental state. I was opening myself in one way, and closing off in another. I allowed my personal ideals and beliefs to be compromised by a someone who I thought truly cared. 

In the end, I've come to realize in a very abrupt manner that it wasn't worth the time I was putting in. After an awakening of the magnitude in which I have experienced, there is no way to go back. I have been struggling for weeks. I suffered mental anguish, sleepless nights, and I was stressing out over why things had happened the way they did. Then, in this last week, and more so days, I awoke, like from a bad dream, and I am now at peace. I must credit David with that. He made me realize that I own the problem by constantly questioning why, or what happened. His brutal honesty allowed me to ascertain that the reason why I was so mentally broken wasn't because I had no closure, or didn't know why. It was because I had thrown aside so much of who I was to keep and maintain this friendship that I once again had lost ME. 

I am once again back on the path to find me again, and this time, there is no room for anything that lacks true importance. Life is too short to live in a state of stress, sadness, and double standards. I will not look back, but only ahead. The next chapter of this year will be filled with positive thoughts, many changes, and challenges. I look forward to it all with my eyes closed (that sounds so funny doesn't it?), arms outstretched, and a serene smile on my face as if I were basking in the warmth of the sun, taking its energy and warmth all in, right before I jump  into whatever may cross my path with a renewed sense of faith. Happy Easter, and here's to moving on in this season of new beginnings!

The Trials of Parenting a Daughter

"A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword" ~Robert Burton

Alyssa is now 13 1/2, and WOW, am I completely not ready for the trials and tribulations involved in parenting her. Jayson was so easy. We had about a year where I wanted to strangle him for various things, but we got past it. However, life with Alyssa for the last couple of years has been a meat grinder, and I'm finally beginning to see small glimpses of her getting better, but when she's bad...Oh my goodness, it's BAD! 


Yesterday afternoon ended up being a pivotal point in our relationship that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. In fact the only way that I can even fathom what transpired is by subjecting you all to it by typing it out. Long story short, I picked her up from school so we could dash to piano. Instead of coming right to the car, she stopped and chit-chatted with a friend. I tried texting her to  remind her that I was waiting, and she didn't text me back because HER PHONE WAS AT HOME...on the charger! Needless to say, I was slightly irritated. I fully admit that my irritation definitely showed in my tone when I asked her why she had to have this conversation right at that moment when she knew that we had somewhere to be. Of course, Alyssa is in that "I'm touchy, and everyone is mad at me when they question me about things," so right away, I knew this was going to go somewhere where I didn't want to go...And it did.


Before I knew it, we were in a full fledged heated discussion. I hesitate to say argument because arguments usually involve both parties raising their voices to make their point. She was now yelling at me (no surprise there), and the conversation had migrated over to her "friends." This is relevant because the girl that she was talking to; well, they haven't spoken the entire year, yet they were very close the year before. Alyssa has moved on with new friends, and the girl hasn't. I personally felt that was very crappy, and chose to voice my opinion about that. I also voiced my opinion about not being very crazy about the friends that she hangs with now. (Think of the movie "Mean Girls"). At any rate, I find most of her friends morally questionable, and from watching their interactions while at my home, I have to question whether one girl in particular is truly vested in her friendship with Alyssa or just using Alyssa to get to her older brother. At any rate, I'm now digressing. 


Alyssa was trying to tell me how wonderful they were, and how she can be friends with whoever she wants, and I couldn't help but smirk because of the idea that she truly has no idea how much I CAN influence who she hangs out with..homeschool anyone? And my smirk sent her over the edge into a fit of rage I have not seen very often from my daughter. And she then muttered the words, "You know what? You don't know my friends just because you've seen them at our house a few times! I like my friends and I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR ME ANYWAY!" I was and still am taken aback by this comment. She could have said anything else to me; I hate you, you're an asshole, go to Hell, and it would not have had hurt...no killed me the way that comment did. And, where on earth did that comment come from?


I've stepped back, and took a look at myself and what kind of person I am...obviously I'm still doing that. I don't know where I have failed. I'm a mom, which I get it, not everyone wants kids, and that's great. I don't expect my daughter to have kids. I've gone back to school to obtain my Psychology degree (which I now find funny given my relationship dynamic with my daughter), I volunteer, I've overhauled my lifestyle into a much healthier one so that I can be here for Alyssa and my boys...but most of all I am always here for them if they need me. Where am I going wrong? All this time, I believed that I was a great role model for my daughter...and now I just feel confused. What is she looking for in a role model? Is she looking toward her friends to be role models? 


This morning over breakfast, we talked about what happened yesterday, and I apologized for coming off like I was mad when I really was just irritated. I even apologized for being judgmental of her friends. Alyssa apologized for yelling at me and slamming my car door...but she never apologized for her comment that has now penetrated my self conscious and has me questioning why I am not good enough? I realize that in the heat of anger, some people will lash out with the most hurtful of words. Some will throw out some whoppers designed to inflict maximum damage, but wow, looking back at our argument in retrospect is positively mind numbing and heartbreaking for me. So, I concluded our conversation with, "I'm not sure what kind of role model that you are searching for, but I truly hope that you find what you are looking for, and able to achieve that." I didn't know what to say; I didn't want to sound passive aggressive. I still want to know what she is looking for. I don't want her to walk in my shoes, but I hope very much for her to be a strong woman. I just hope that she is able to find someone like that to emulate.

Yeah, I'm "That" Mom...

The last day of school before the holidays was the sixteenth of December. Normally during breaks from school, I will have the kids do some sort of work to keep their minds going..at the very least I will make them read for thirty minutes a day. However, I will fully admit that by Friday, the sixteenth, I was completely done and over the school thing. Chalk it up to my lack of sleep, missing Dave, the boys being difficult in the mornings, or struggling with Anthony to get him to do his homework; when we returned home that day, the backpacks were hung up in the cubby, and I honestly did not give them a second thought until yesterday morning when it was time to pull them off the hooks, as he kids finally went back to school.(YAY!!!)


It was seven-thirty in the morning, and surprisingly, things were running so smoothly; almost like a well oiled machine. For the first time this school year (since the first week of school), I was not begging one of the boys to hurry up, I wasn't desperately looking for one of Hunter's shoes that he failed to put in his cubby the day before, and I wasn't dropping them off at seven-fifty-eight when the tardy bell rings at eight o'clock. I have to say that dropping them off late is awful. I liken it to the "walk of shame" that you hear of some girls doing in college. You have to get out of your car and physically walk your child to the office, and then give an explanation as to why they are late. God forbid that you, yourself are running late and leave the house sans make-up, hair pulled back in a pony tail, wearing sweats, t-shirt, Ugg boots..all covered up in an oversized cardigan as if to hide the fact that you look like death warmed over. What makes it worse is when the principal sends home a nasty gram telling you that your child has "X" number of tardies, and proceeds to scold you as to the importance of your child being on time.(Yes, I can attest to this as I have received this letter.)


Nonetheless, yesterday this was not the case. The boys were ready to go without complaint, with shoes in place by seven thirty-five. You will never know how happy this made me. However, that emotion was quickly dissolved when Anthony opened his back pack only to find ten pages of math that were assigned for each day of vacation...10 PAGES! I was mortified. I never looked in their bags the entire winter break. I never made them do anything remotely close to school work aside from reading.


Alas, I completely own up to this. I dropped the ball. Do I believe that Anthony may have known about the homework?..Yes. However, he is eight, and I don't expect him to exercise that sort of responsibility yet. He is a child, and therefore still thinks like a child. There is a reason that children cannot babysit until they are twelve or thirteen..they lack responsibility. It would be different if he was eleven or twelve and knew better. Having said that, ultimately, I am his parent and regardless of his age, it is my responsibility to make sure that things like this don't happen, and I fully admit that--I slipped up.


At any rate, I sent him to school without the homework. I'm guessing that I was not the only parent who did not push the homework as Anthony never said a word regarding the fact that he was "the only one who didn't turn in homework." Anthony is always very good at letting me know when I've messed up. So much so, I'm thinking that of my four kids, he would be the best suited to be a priest because he's definitely good at dishing out guilt. With that in mind, I'm not too worried about my recent short coming in the Mom department. However, in the future I will most certainly make a point to check backpacks when the kids have a break from school. 

Reasons Why Being Married To The Army Is Fun, 2nd Edition

Here it is, the 2nd edition of why being married to the Army is fun...Better late than never I always say. I realize that just a couple of days ago, I posted about how hard this deployment has been on my sleep schedule. Of course, once again, sleep is still eluding me as it is four o'clock in the morning and I am still up. Deployment aside, Dave's job allows for great social opportunities with wonderful people that we may not have otherwise met. The group of ladies in the photo above are a small group of the spouses married to some of the leaders in our squadron. We got together earlier this month for what is called a "coffee." Basically, it was a few hours to hang out, have some food and drinks (which this month was spiced cider made wicked good with the addition of Captain Morgan by Kristine!)


During this particular get together, the theme was an Ugly Sweater party, along with a "Dirty Santa" White Elephant gift exchange. The idea behind the Dirty Santa was to lift our spirits through either re-gifting a previously received-unwanted gift, or a gag gift, or just something inexpensive. Most of these gals were very nice and gave nice gifts like candles and Starbuck's gift cards. And SOME were kind of "dirty" in their gift giving which made for much needed laughter!

At the end of the evening, we all walked away not feeling so glum. We definitely missed some of the girls that were unable to come, but look forward to seeing them at future get togethers. Friendship and companionship are wonderful bonds created in this atmosphere. It's because of our spouses that we are brought together, and that is priceless given the time that we must spend apart from our loved ones. We will all eventually part ways, and some of us may not speak again, but some of us will remain life long friends no matter where we end up in the future.


They will be true friends who even though they are in Colorado, and you are in Washington, they will stay up with you until one in the morning playing "Words With Friends" over the phone because they know that you can't sleep. Or they will be the friend that will stay by your side for fifteen hours of labor even after you've barked at them, "why are your hands so damn hot?" while they are rubbing your aching back in place of your husband who is half way across the world! They will be the ones that stick it out with you through the deployments and field problems throughout yours and their spouse's careers, and when you look back, you cannot imagine your life without them.If ever there was a gift that comes out of being married to the Army, friendship is truly the one thing that I cherish. 

Insomnia...

I had the idea when we found out that Dave was going to deploy that I would create my own version of a "Project 365" blog in correspondence to him being gone. It seemed easy enough; he would be gone for a year, I should be able to write about our days while he is gone. What I never anticipated was that I would not be able to bring myself to actually write about him leaving us. God knows that I have tried, and try as I might, I have not been able to put those feelings to paper--or in this case keyboard. I have only been able to talk about my feelings in regards to his departure to a very small circle, and writing about it I guess made the situation too real for me, and honestly it makes me feel too fragile. I say fragile, because I don't like the word weak. I don't identify myself with that word, and I've always prided myself on the fact that Dave said that he couldn't have married a more perfect wife for his line of work. On the other hand, he has also referred to me on occasion as "the ice queen" as I have been known to be somewhat cold and distant. Given his opinions, somehow, the word weak doesn't seem to fit.

Today marks exactly a month since he left, and I guess by now everything concerned with David being gone should feel REAL. I guess that is where my disconnect is. I have spent so much time in this last month avoiding the idea that he has left that I have made this so much harder on myself than it needed to be.

          This is the moon the night Dave left 28 Nov 2011


I returned home the night that I dropped him off to a quiet house, and I stifled the tears that I probably should have cried. Instead, I sat at my computer with the intent of blogging my heart out about my feelings, and all I could do was look at Facebook, upload a few photos, and update my status. I gave myself twelve hours to pull myself together, and put on a strong face, and be the role model that I should be. However, by doing this, I now realize that I was just delaying the inevitable, proverbial ripping off of the bandaid. 

Things were going very well for the first two weeks that he was gone. The household was running smoothly, the kids were in bed on time, the dishes were done after dinner, and I was going to bed by ten o'clock every night. About two and a half weeks in, I began having problems going to sleep. First, I would lie in bed and my mind would begin to race, and then it progressed to a point where I would be so tired,and as soon as I would walk into my empty bedroom my heart would begin to pound, and I wouldn't be able breath. Bedtime had become an event that I dreaded.By my own doing, I developed Separation Anxiety over my husband not being here. Say what??? Gosh that sounds so silly--and dare I say weak?

However, as silly as it sounds this anxiety is what is allowing me to be up writing this blog at three-thirty in the morning when I should be in bed sleeping. But, sleep eludes me...thank goodness the kids are still on winter break!

So, it is in the spirit of the New Year, and new beginnings, and my desire to move past this anxiety and be able to sleep, that I am ripping off this bandaid. I have finally allowed myself to cry tonight over this blog..partially because I feel like such a schmuck because I have always subscribed to the idea that crying is not going to change the situation, but mostly because this is the first time that I have allowed myself to truly FEEL this deployment--the emptiness of David's absence as well as the joy of anticipation that he will be back again.

This coming year holds so many milestones for everyone in our family and accomplishments to be made and be proud of. With the joy of those milestones will also be the empty pain in our hearts of knowing that we can't share those accomplishments together. However, I think I may have made one of my biggest accomplishments this morning with this blog. I allowed myself to feel emotion which is something that I haven't really done in years. I've rediscovered that it's okay to be emotionally attached and vulnerable to someone. I also discovered that it's okay to cry, because even though it may not change the situation, sometimes it just feels pretty damn good to take inventory of one's emotions and get them out.

Mr. Hankey...

Mr. Hankey Exists...

I know this because I found him in my main floor bathroom.

The kids and I settled down to watch “Dolphin Tale” this evening after our wonderful Christmas Day and dinner. The boys begrudgingly joined in after I made them put their new toys on their chargers. Ten minutes into the movie (that is based on a true story), the plot revealed that the older cousin was in the Army going off to war, and he gave his younger cousin a special gift while telling him that, “Family is forever, and don’t worry, I’ll be home soon” I began to second guess my decision to make them watch the movie. I’m thinking GREAT, he’s going to get shwacked, and this is the last thing the boys need to see right now with Dave being in Afghanistan. What was I thinking??? How could I have made such a faux pas? So, in an attempt to do pre-damage control, I told the boys that they could go back to their games, and of course they had been sucked into the movie by that point, and didn’t want to stop watching, with the exception of a trip to the bathroom by Hunter. 

Fortunately, we made it through the movie without any casualties. *I apologize for the spoiler for any who have yet to see the film. “Dolphin Tale” was a tear jerker for sure, but I still highly recommend this flick for an evening of family viewing. 

Once the movie had concluded, the kids returned to their normal lives; the boys went back to their video games, and the girls went into their room to check email, listen to iPod, etc. It was very heartwarming for me to see Jayson helping Hunter get through a particularly difficult section of his video game. I was content. 

It was when Alina went into the bathroom to take her shower and promptly came out and grabbed Alyssa saying, “You need to come see this,” and then Alyssa in turn came and got me and said, “Mom, you need to come see this,” that my evening took a bad turn, and we discovered that we indeed had had a visit from Mr. Hankey. 

Anyone who has watched the Christmas episode of “South Park” is familiar with Mr. Hankey. He even has his own song, “I’m Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo, Seasons Greetings to all of you...” and a trade marked phrase, "Howdy-Ho!" Well, I found him in the girl’s bathroom. For when I walked into the bathroom, upon first sight, everything looked fine, until I turned my attention to the waste basket. There at the top, was a pile of poo, and on the floor beneath was a small puddle of water. Who had done this? WHO DOES THIS kind of thing??  My 6 year old son, Hunter that’s who.

First thing I asked during his impromptu interrogation was indeed, “WHY DID YOU DO THIS??” Hunter, “Because I was afraid to flush the toilet because I thought that (now tears are falling) the toilet would clog.” (insert rubbing eyes as a futile attempt to stop crying.) As I see his hands balled up, rubbing his crying eyes, the thought of HOW the poo ended up in the waste basket dawned on me, because I noticed dark brown crap (literally crap) embedded under his nails. “OH.My.Gosh, Hunter, did you pick that out of the toilet with your hands?” Hunter, “Yes (still crying).” “Did you wash your hands?” “NOOOO (sobbing).” As I quickly went to remove his poo laden hands from his face, I realize that his pajama sleeves were damp with poo water.

I lost my mind as it was racing with images of Hunter rubbing his eyes with poo laced fingers; on to him playing his 3DS and then handing it off to Jay who then also played the 3DS, so now Jay’s hands have been defiled by Hunter’s poo residue. It is at this point that I snapped, and was now screaming, “GO WASH YOUR HANDS!” Now, let me preface Hunter washing his hands by telling you that Alyssa happened to break the drain in the sink earlier in the day by yanking up on the plunger too hard. Just hours prior, I had sacrificed a beautiful Calphalon steak knife by prying the drain cover out of the drain. I had placed the drain cover on the side of the sink so it would be readily available when the repairman came. 

So, Hunter was now washing his hands, and I left the bathroom to go get paper towels and Lysol to clean the disgusting Christmas gift that my adorable son had left for me. I came back to a sink filling with water as Hunter had replaced the drain stopper back into the drain, and the water was getting higher and higher. Now, having to sacrifice Calphalon steak knife number two to pry the stopper out, I made Hunter sit in the hall while I cleaned the bathroom.

So, 25 minutes later, the bathroom was finally cleaned up, the trash removed to the outside garbage can, the wastebasket liner replaced, and floor cleaned; sigh, I have now calmed down enough to take Hunter upstairs for a bath. 

I am happy to report that we made it not only through the movie, but also the rest of the evening with the only casualty being my sanity. Hunter ended the evening being grounded from his 3DS for the rest of the night (which he was going to bed anyway), as well as for the entire next day, and I ended the evening by wiping down his 3DS with Lysol wipes, and drinking a glass of wine. All in all, I can say that this Christmas will be unforgettable for me, and I’m sure for all of my kids as well. I can now say that with some degree of certainty that Mr. Hankey does exist, although I would prefer is he stayed in the toilet as he definitely did not spread any Christmas Cheer. Merry Christmas, and here’s hoping for a Happy New Year!

Reasons Why Being Married To The Army Is Fun...1st Edition

I have decided that every Friday I will list a reason why being married to the Army is fun. Honestly, deployments, and work schedules aside, it truly is fun! If you're not part of it, you have no idea. So, this is my way of shedding a little light on the matter. So let me begin with last evening...

As I gussied myself up for the evening...totally ignorant of what would unfold later on, I decided to wear my black leather boots...the ones with stiletto heels. (The hubby likes them, so I figured, I'd be nice.)When we arrived at Famous Dave's BBQ, the waiter came to take our drink order. Given the week that I have had, I felt that I was entitled to a "Smokin' Tea" last night at 1-14 CAV's Hail and Fairwell. I didn't realize how large the glass was going to be, and before I knew it, I had polished off one, and had ordered another. So, you can only imagine my angst when I found out that I had to stand up on a chair!

Imagine me...tired from lack of sleep, slightly buzzed, in 3 1/2 inch heels with skinny jeans that I could hardly breath in. I get up on the chair, which by the way had a padded seat (All I could imagine was my sharp heel puncturing the pleather upholstery), whilst Dave's friend exclaimed "Holy Heels Batman!" which about made me pee my pants! Yes, I was now standing on a chair...waiting for my hubby to place a garter on my leg, without using his hands...and I was still worried that my heel would punch a hold in the chair...

Last night, I was inducted into the "Order of the Garter" an Army tradition specific to the Cavalry (the Army is HUGE on tradition).

According to legend...and the card that I received last night, "when Calvary Troopers went off for several days and weeks scouting, their wives, and girlfriends would wear yellow ribbons in their hair while their Troopers were away." Over the years, the idea has morphed into many different things, like yellow ribbons on the trees, etc. The Cavalry tradition has become that when a new wife comes to her first Hail and Farewell, she will be welcomed into the "Order of the Garter." The Trooper will bestow a yellow garter upon his lady's leg, and kiss her on the cheek for good luck.

I was unable to attend the previous Hail and Farewell, and therefore did not receive my garter...so they got me at this one. So, I'm standing on the chair...now on one foot while Dave shimmies the yellow garter adorned with the small, gold, crossed sabers up my leg. Thankfully, this task was uneventful, and my heel did not go through the pleather seat, and I did not fall while trying to balance myself on one foot.

For ever more, I am part of a special group of women...the wife of a Cavalry Trooper. As long as we are in a CAV unit, I will wear my garter to every unit social function (hail & farewells, balls, stable calls, etc.)

So, this will conclude my first installment of reasons why being married to the Army is fun.  Many, especially those in the non-CAV sector of the Army may find my above mentioned accounts a little hokey, but then again there is a saying: If you aint't CAV, you ain't...well, you get the gist I'm sure...

Happy Valentine's Day...A couple of days late.

Okay, so I realize that I have been slacking on the posts. Things have been very busy as of late, and I can't lie, the stupid "Zuma" game on Facebook has been WAY to entertaining for me! I cannot believe that I just admitted that. With that said, let me take a moment to reflect on this year's Valentine's Day, and the special relationship that I have with my sons. I have the most thoughtful boys, and all three of them will make wonderful husbands one day (this thought truly saddens me because that means I will have to share them!)

Anthony and Hunter both approached me a few days prior to Valentine's Day to let me know that they wanted to get me a necklace for the big day. I thought that was so sweet that they had thought of this all on their own. This past weekend, Jayson, Alyssa, and I had dental appointments, so David kept Anthony and Hunter with him. He took them to his work to help transfer his belongings from his old office into his new one. When he offered to treat them to lunch afterward, they both were very specific in their choices for lunch...both places where they wanted to eat were located in the food court at the PX here on Lewis, lol. Unknown to Dave, they had motives alterior to just eating lunch. When they arrived at the PX, both boys led my husband right to the jewelry counter. These two were on a mission, and somehow, they knew exactly what they wanted to buy, and where it was located (the idea that they had done such good reconnaissance scares me, lol). They left the PX that afternoon with bellies full of Taco Johns, and Anthony's Pizza...and a 14KT gold pendant that says #1 Mom.

They were so excited that they could not wait until the 14th, so they gave it to me that afternoon. They were so happy to give me that gift, you could tell that it actually made them happy to do so. While it's a little gaudy, and totally unlike anything that I would normally wear, it has earned a spot as my favorite piece of jewelry. I will definitely be sure to display it proudly around my neck!

Jayson was more subtle in his Valentine's gifting. Jayson has had some struggles in school, and he has been working extremely hard...especially this last quarter. Instead of buying me a gift, he got me a card. Upon reading his card, I was reduced to tears...

Dear Mom,


Happy Valentine's Day to you. I wish that your Valentine's Day is special, and I hope that my grades are good because those are your Valentine's present. I've been working my butt off to earn those grades. You are special to me because you helped me earn those grades. If it weren't for you and Dad helping me, I would have failed. That's why you are special to me and you mean a lot to me. So I will give you all of my love on Valentine's Day!

I Love You Mom,
Jayson

I cannot express how special, and how loved his card makes me feel. The fact that he took the time to actually write a personal message in addition to what the card said was so thoughtful. Heck, he could have written this down on a sheet of paper, and I would have loved it just the same. In reading his words, I see how much my son has grown, especially in this past year, and I could not be more proud of him. I will keep this card always, and cherish it forever.

My boys are wonderfully thoughtful. In their own ways, they made my Valentine's Day feel more like Mother's Day! While the gifts and cards are nice, I hope they realize that they make me happy just by being themselves...although...the gifts and cards are definitely a nice bonus for being a mom to such great guys! I know one day the time will come when they are giving gifts and cards to someone else. While the thought truly saddens me now, I know that I will be able to pull out my cards, artworks from school, and gifts from years gone by, and relive these memories for the rest of my life...or until my memory fails...

The Love of a Brother

If any of you have siblings, then you know what it is like to have someone in your life that you can constantly annoy, compete with, and fight with. You would also know what it is like to have unconditional love for them, and someone who will have your back when life turns against you...well in most families that is, unless your family puts the "fun" in dysfunctional. At any rate, with four kids in our house, things are always very hectic, there is usually never a quiet moment, and the arguments are plenty--with the exception of Jayson and Anthony for the most part.

My fourteen year old son Jayson, and my seven year old son Anthony get along perfectly (quite the contrary to my sister and I who are the exact age difference). They are so close that I was just telling someone the other day that I do not ever recall a time where Anthony and Jayson have ever fought. You will never know how monumental that fact was to me. Anthony is going through a tough time..he has a temper, and he is having a hard time controlling that temper. While the most affectionate, loving child you could ever want, he is also not the type of child that you can confront head on with anything, and he does not transition well with changes. Because of this, every day is carefully planned to include letting him know in advance what his day will consist of, down to the simplest things like letting him know in the morning that he can have an hour afterschool to go out and play, and then he will come inside and do his homework. Emphasizing that he cannot be angry when I tell him it's time to come in. I have to let him know in the morning that he will go to bed at eight o'clock, and when I tuck him in, I have to remind him that he will have to get up early for school and that he cannot get angry about that fact. It's tiring, and frustrating, and I would not wish this on any parent.

There is nothing more heartbreaking than having your child melt down and tell you that they hate you. Having to watch them lose control, and punch your husband because they are so angry over something like him saying that he cannot stay up as late as his older brother, and it's time to get ready for bed...or that it's time to practice math facts when they were not expecting to do so because they literally cannot mentally handle something out of the blue, or a non-structured bedtime schedule. Let me add that these are not normal tantrums, and I do not spoil my children. Their actions have consequences. This is a legitimate issue in which normal consequences do not apply.  Because of this I have the planning of Anthony's day down to a science, or at least I'm working very hard to do so. My afternoons are gone, I spend them with him, sitting beside him during homework time because he wants me there. I've now realized that I have to prepare dinner before he gets home because otherwise we will eat at seven!

I made a mistake yesterday morning. I woke up late, and was then running late. I asked Jayson to go upstairs, wake Anthony and have him get dressed for school while I prepared breakfast. I should not have done that. Anthony did not want to get up, and Jayson wanting to make sure that Anthony got up and dressed for school, decided to dress Anthony for school while he was trying to sleep.

This resulted in the first argument that I have ever seen between Anthony and Jayson, and the first thing that came to my mind was, "Why on Earth did I open my mouth and say that I had never witnessed a fight between them?" I called Jayson downstairs before things escalated and explained that I realized that he was trying to help me, and that he was not in trouble,  but next time to just come get me. I then went right into calming Anthony down mode. I had him come downstairs and sit in his area by the front door to calm himself down. Then I reiterated to Jay that he was not in trouble. We also talked about how not to deal with Anthony when he's mad, and Jay felt bad. He tried to apologize to Anthony, and Anthony would not accept Jay's apology.

While I was talking with Anthony, trying to put the mental pieces back together in time for him to go to school, Jay took it upon himself to assemble the lunches for the day. I was very thankful for his help yesterday morning, and so happy to see how mature and responsible he has become. His help kept me from falling apart. Before I took Anthony to school, Jayson apologized to him again for trying to get him dressed while he was still in bed. Anthony finally accepted the apology, but did not offer any apology in return.

As we were driving home from school yesterday afternoon, Anthony told me that when he opened his lunch, Jayson had written a note on his napkin. He said, " I love you little brother." That melted my heart, and I think it also made Anthony realize that he had no reason to flare up at Jay the way he did, because he apologized to Jay as soon as he walked in from basketball practice. Once again they were best friends, and all was well. Jayson taught me a valuable lesson in forgiveness yesterday...and a valuable lesson in how to be a brother--or sister. He showed me that your brothers or sisters are who they are, but they are always your siblings, and you need to get past what they do wrong, and let them know that you still love them.

I love my children for many reasons. I'll admit that I often wonder why I was given such challenging children to raise. I now realize that even as adults we still have many lessons to learn. Some of us are a little harder to teach. My children are giving me a wealth of knowlege that I need to put toward better use...

Farts are Funny, Farts are Cute...Farts are Sh#t Without the Mess...

Anyone who has children knows that at one time or another, your children will receive gifts that you wish they didn't. You know what I'm talking about, those loud obnoxious toys with lights and sounds, that when the children aren't looking we stealthly slide the switch to off. The ones where once the batteries die, we make up a fib that we don't have enough batteries, can't find the batteries, or we will go buy more batteries...with full intention of not replacing them. While the toy I'm speaking of was extremely obnoxious, I can't say that I have ever switched it off, or lied about replacing batteries. It has disappeared a time or two (not by my hand), and thankfully been recovered. I've even saved it from the hallowed depths of my washing machine by checking my son's pockets before throwing his pants in. It was temporarily lost in our past move, which was devastating for my son Anthony, but thankfully recovered. It was The Fartmaster.

For Anthony's 6th birthday, more than anything else, he wanted a "fart machine." I had no idea where to begin the search for such an item. In fact, I believe that I was pretty sure that I really didn't want to embark on that search. One of my friends who lives in North Carolina, happened to be at a little trinket store, and found by accident The Fartmaster. Being the thoughtful lady that she is, and I totally adore you chica..you know who you are! She sent Anthony The Fartmaster. She didn't tell me that she had found it, she didn't tell me what she was sending...I remember her saying "It's a surprise! You have to let me know when you get it."

I knew right away what I was in for when I checked the mail the day it arrived. As I am bent over pulling the mail out of my mailbox (we have those silly mail kiosks, and our box was toward the bottom of the kiosk), I grabbed the padded envelope, and it farted! Thank goodness nobody else was nearby, they may have thought it was me! When Anthony tore into the package, he resembled Ralphy from "A Christmas Story" unwrapping his Red Rider Air Rifle. He was so excited. After all of the gifts that he had received for his birthday, this little fart machine on a key ring, was the greatest gift he could have received. The joy on his face was unforgettable, and he immediately went to work making his siblings and myself "fart." The smiles, and giggles were intoxicating since David was deployed, and unable to be here for his birthday. I was in bliss seeing them all so happy.

The Fartmaster even inspired a "fart war" in my house when my parents came for the holidays that year. My Dad went to Spencers and purchased his own fart machine that had a wireless remote, allowing him to hide the speaker in different places and use the remote to set off farts when unsuspecting children were around. My house was full of happiness and flatulence for the holidays in 2009...thank goodness it was only of the electronic nature!

Over the months The Fartmaster continued to bring much joy to my children, especially Anthony. Although, I have to say that I wasn't thrilled when he brought it to the grocery store on a couple of occasions. Overall, I have to admitt that of all of the toys my kids have received over the years that make sounds, this has been the most tolerable. Nobody knows for sure how the little fart machine met it's demise. Did the battery finally fail from over use? One thing I know for sure is that the last time I saw it work was two days ago when Anthony hid it on Dave's leather club chair. Unbeknownst to him, he sat on it, and due to the placement on the leather, it let out a louder sound...it was hysterical! Could the weight of my hubby have killed it? We'll never know. Dare I say that I might actually miss it? I may. Will I replace it? I'm not sure yet...

My version of the Cascades...Mt. Laundry & Mt. Dishes.

On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier from my front yard. It is one of the most spectacular things one can imagine seeing, and I feel lucky everyday for being able to see something so beautiful. One of the things that made me happy for moving back to the west coast was being able to see real mountains again. In my book, mountains covered in trees are not mountains. I want to see the hard, jagged rock protruding out of the ground, glowing in hughs of purple, blue, and orange in the backdrop of the evening sunset. What I totally detest seeing is the mountain ranges that crop up in my home on a daily basis.

Why is it so hard for me to keep up on my laundry and dishes? With six people in my family, I have at least a load of laundry every single day. If I miss a day, I'm screwed. Dishes are no better. I try to be green and not use paper plates, and plastic silverwares, but seriously, I spend a chunk of my day in the kitchen between cooking and cleaning it up! What is a girl to do?

I'm a realist. I know that the idea of not throwing clothes after one wear into the laundry is lost upon my children. I also realize that my hubby's job requires him to wear PT's in the morning for workout, and a full uniform each day. My people eat breakfast, they eat lunch, they eat dinner, and snacks in between. These foods must be cooked in something. I know that there will never be an end to the circular file of laundry and dishes, it's just nice to be able to vent about it...

FINALLY Almost Settled In!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! It's been a while, I know. We moved, school started, and then came the holidays--and the cold weather! I realize it's winter, but I've been accustomed to HEAT in my house over the course of my life. We have come to realize during this long holiday weekend of sub freezing temperatures that some of the radiators in our house are not working. Compiled with the fact that our 1940's home has the original exterior doors, and single pane windows...well, I'm in my own personal ice box thank you very much. I say this while I am sitting on the loveseat in my living room dressed in winter clothes from head to toe..to include socks and slippers, whilst covered in a quilt with my Shih tzu peacefully snoozing on top of my feet to keep them warm. Meanwhile, I can hear my neighbor's daughter playing "The Spinning Song" on their piano which happens to be on the shared wall between their living room and ours.


Ahh, the joys of living in military housing. It's actually not that bad. I'm enjoying the fact that my husband is still able to be home  by 6:30 pm (because he doesn't have a 45min. commute). I like the fact that I can walk my son to school, and that the grocery store is less than 2 miles away. The close proximity to grocery shopping has proved to be worth it's weight in gold during the last few weeks (the holidays). David ran countless trips to the store for me to pick up items that I needed.[Really, how could I run out of ginger when I knew that I was going to make Gingerbread Cookies??? Better yet, how could I have forgotten to pick it up when I was grocery shopping?] Thank goodness the holidays or over, and I can stop cooking, and spending so much money at the grocery store.


Yes, indeed the holidays have concluded, and all things must go back to normal. The kids go back to school tomorrow, and Dave and I will take down the tree, and put away the decorations. Kind of funny that his last day off is spent "working". We will no doubt quickly return to the fast pace with work functions, school functions, and field problems. Hopefully the fast pace will return with some warmer weather...

Just Because Something's Gluten Free, Doesn't Mean It Must Suck

This is my new mission statement in life. I've been fighting the battle against not eating wheat for more than a year when I was officially diagnosed with a wheat allergy. That diagnosis was like a life long sentence of depression for me. I LOVE to cook, my friends refer to me as Mini Martha for goodness sake! I tried the wheat free way (although, my heart was not in it), and it was very trying. While I love to cook, it's nice to be able to whip up something in a jiff using something out of a box, or packet. It's also wonderful to be able to pop a bagel in the toaster in the morning, and enjoy it with cream cheese smeared all over it. This was the battle I have faced for the last 18 months.

While eating wheat would cause me much pain in my gut (literally), and swelling, it was not enough to get me to curb the eating. That is until we embarked on our recent move. I was forced into eating tons of wheat laden items out of necessity. It was like I was on a wheat fest. I got extremely ill. For the last few weeks, I have been so sick, and so swollen, I cannot describe it or compare it to anything else. In addition, I've been so lethargic (which is not a good thing during a move), and moody. It's definitely enough to make we wonder if I have something more than just an allergy. Maybe a gluten intolerance (Celiac Disease)? I never got tested due to the fact that just me being allergic to wheat requires following the same diet.

Alas, I decided to go back to the tried and true gluten free/wheat free diet. I am going to embrace this, and not fight it anymore. I'm three days into g-free, and I've lost almost 9 pounds of water (I'm thrilled to be able to see the bones in my feet again), and my stomach is no longer in pain, I sleep well, I feel well, and I'm not exhausted. So, to keep myself motivated with this because I know that I will become tired of the maintenance part (nothing store bought, etc.), I've decided to document some of the meals I make every week. Maybe this can inspire other stubborn people like myself.

Apricot Pineapple BBQ Chicken

16 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
Fresh Lemon Pepper Season:
Zest of one lemon
2 tsp sea salt
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
2 tsp chopped parsley (fresh)

Season both sides of raw chicken with lemon pepper season, and grill over med-low heat. Begin bastin with BBQ sauce after first turn, and continue to baste throughout cooking.

Sauce:
2 Tbs extra light olive oil
1 small red onion, diced
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 can of tomato paste
8oz of apricot pineapple preserves (I used a jar of homemade preserves, so adjust seasonings to taste, as store-bought is sweeter)
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
2 Tbs molasses
1/2 cup sucanat or organic brown sugar
1/2 cup organic ketchup
2tsp-1Tbs of Chipotle chili powder (must be chipotle for the smoky taste)
sea salt and fresh cracked black pepper to taste

In a saucepan over medium heat, sweat the onion and garlic until transluscent. Add remaining ingredients, bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer for 25 min. Sauce will become thick and darker. Puree sauce using hand held stick blender or carefully using a food processor. Baste meat with sauce during cooking.

*Many wheat intolerant people know that certain things contain wheat. I never imagined that something like BBQ sauce, or even some seasonings like lemon pepper would contain wheat, but the caramel color added to so many food items is made from wheat as well as many of the starches, and MSG added to many of the seasons we buy.

Second Snag in the Move

I'm writing these back to back today as there is simply too much to go into one post. Especially since I began my last post 3 days ago and was unable to finish it until this morning. So, events of this post began on Tuesday...

I have to say that I must have died and ended up on Wisteria Lane. I LOVE my new neighbors as they are such a breath of fresh air from Nancy. I doubt I will be having to clean up their dog crap from my front lawn for sure. My next door neighbor showed up to introduce himself, and offer usage of his painting supplies before he left for a camping trip. He and his wife have 5 kids and they are home schooled. I have yet to meet his wife, but he and their children seem very nice. A few hours later,  my neighbor who lives across the street came by, and due to her red hair and homemade cookies, I will refer to her as "Bree." Yes, she brought us homemade cookies topped with very delicious homemade buttercream icing. She introduced herself, and invited us to a neighborhood bbq this weekend for everyone to meet each other and let the kids play. I thought to myself, this is really cool. I already feel that I will be very sad when the time comes for us to part ways with Fort Lewis.

The following day brought another neighbor who lives on the other side of us. They were very nice, and from what he told us about his job status at the moment, I have a sneaking suspicion that he is the person we've been waiting for to come take David's spot in the G-3 shop so he can be released to go down to his new job. He and his wife were very nice, and they offered help with anything we should need during our move. All in all, I already see us being very happy and at home in this neighborhood that resembles the Walgreens commercial where everything is perfect...complete with tree lined streets.

So, fast forward to Thursday morning, and Dave received a phone call from the transportation office. He had left a message on Tuesday afternoon for a transportation agent to call him to see if there was any way to expedite our move. This is one of those things that I wish they would have told him Tuesday morning instead of telling him to wait until next Monday. You see, the Army no longer contracts movers to do local moves. Local moves are all "do it yourself" with reimbursement from the Army. Wow, you think that they could have told him that Tuesday so that we could already be moved in. The one silver lining to this is that they will pay us very well for our blood,sweat and tears we shall shed in this fiasco. So now, moving the essentials which would allow us to functionally live in this house which would require the work of Dave, Jay and I, has now turned into a full scale moving operation requiring the work of many with much more lifting ability than Jay and myself.

I cancelled the trailer, and reserved the largest truck Uhaul has (26ft), and then called my parents to ask them to drive down to help. Of course, asking friends to help is not something you do at last minute, so the move has now been put off until Wednesday, and so begins the process of procuring boxes, and packing up my house. I feel the need to just sit and cry, and wallow in self pity, but I know that doing that will not change the situation. I shall make the best of it, and be happy to be out of this house, and into a wonderful neighborhood in a house that I wont have to pray that we will not have an earthquake in for fear that it will collapse. Trust that this will not be the end of this story, I'm sure there will be much more to add as we go along. Wish me luck.

And So It Begins...The Big Move

Here we go again. Two years down here in Washington State, and we move again. At least this time we are staying within the state and not PCS'ing anywhere. I've mentioned before that our new home is falling apart. If I could get Mike Holmes to come down and fix this I would, but the better answer in this case is to put it back in the developer's lap. I also might add that the contractors that have screwed over the many on the show "Holmes on Homes" have nothing on this builder. In fact the actual builder that built our home is no longer in business under the same name that it had when they build our house. They've since closed up shop under their old name and got a new license and a new name, and I'm sure they are still building crappy homes for many more unsuspecting people.

I should have known to run when we got here in September of 2008 when we showed up only to find the home that we had designed and picked out all of the items for would not be finished on schedule. The builder rep urged us into this house which was only a week out from completion versus the home we had picked that was still a month and a half away from completion. We needed a house yesterday, so instead of cutting ties with the builder for breech of contract (and I had proof of the promised date for move in), we took this house. My father likes to say that they saw us coming, and they probably did. I will now admit that we made a huge mistake, and have been paying for it dearly every month for the last almost 2 years, and will be out close to $20,000 when all is said and done when we hand the keys back over to the developer (I can't wait for that day, while my pocket book will be poorer, I will be doing the happy dance whilst saying "Yes, I won, and you get to take back this piece of crap house with bad wiring, faulty foundation (some cracking of the walls is normal with settling, but the ceiling upstairs is literally sinking into the walls), and cracked subfloor, and try to sell it to someone else!).

This past Monday, Dave and I signed our contract, paid our money, and got our keys for our home on Fort Lewis. Yes, we've decided to move onto the base. Although, I must say that this is the nicest home in base housing that I've ever seen. I'd even venture to say that it's actually nicer than the home we are leaving. They've totally renovated the entire house; refinishing the oak plank floors, renovating the bathrooms, and the kitchen. The kitchen, oh my goodness, it's gorgeous. Nice high end cabinets with granite counters, and nice, heavy, brushed nickel fixtures; it's my own little slice of heaven. The entire house is a blank slate for a photo shoot to be featured in a Pottery Barn or a Restoration Hardware ad. The best part is that we have a huge fenced in backyard for the kids. Everyone from Washington, and most of the west coast knows that backyards are a rare commodity, so I'm thrilled to have it.

So, as I said, we signed our lives away on Monday.  Monday was the best day (or so we thought) because we needed to schedule for the movers to come pack our stuff, and according to the housing office, the transportation office held the briefing for this on Tuesday mornings (the Army has a briefing for everything). So, we painted the house Monday afternoon, and were all ready to have a date scheduled for our furniture to be packed up and moved into the house by the end of this week. What was I thinking? Of course  this would not be as easy as it looked in theory.

David went to the transportation office Tuesday morning all ready to get this move going, and their answer to him was, "We're sorry sir, but this briefing is for incoming moves. You will need to go to the local move briefing on Monday at 1300." Monday...an entire week away, and the clock is already ticking loudly as Dave took two weeks of leave to make this move happen, and we will have already lost a week by the time he Monday rolls around. So, we decided to rent a U-haul trailer and move the necessities ourselves so that we could at least begin to live in the new house, leaving the rest of the items to be moved by the movers. So, trailer is reserved for Friday, and Dave is going to the "do-it-yourself move" briefing to see if we can at least get some compensation for moving part of our stuff. This move is already not going according to plan. Stay tuned as I'm sure I will have more to add to this fiasco before it is complete...

The Love Hate Relationship

As I sit here and type this, I must admit to you that after the better part of a decade of being married to David, I'm really not feeling the love for the Army at the moment. I have had these feelings for oh, I don't know, the last two years since he told me that we were coming to Fort Lewis, Washington. Really, my first thought was how the weather was going to suck...seriously, doesn't Seattle have the highest suicide rate in the country? They are at the moment retrofitting a bridge so that people will no longer be able to jump to their death! Admittedly, in all fairness to the situation, no matter where we were going to go, I would have been unhappy, due to the fact that we were living in paradise at the time, and it would have taken an act of God himself to get me to happily leave Newport, Rhode Island. However, in all seriousness, nothing has been right since the inception of this move. I have been in a constant state of limbo..actually, I can't even qualify this chaos as limbo. It's more like a constant state of Pergatory, heading towards the outer ring Dante's Inferno. A constant state of flux if you will, where everytime you see an end in sight, something moves and pushes me away from the light of happiness. There is no concept of time and schedule in this pergatory of mine, and it's driving me insane.

It began when we discovered an entire walk in storage closet full of boxes that the movers had left behind in RI, and it continues into the present where the 2 years that I thought we had left here at Fort Lewis is now sitting in pergatory with me as we now do not know when the hubby will go down to his new job that would allow us to get the Hell out of Dodge by August 2012. At the moment, I have no idea when we will leave this awful, awful place. In all fairness, I do know that some people really love Fort Lewis. From what I gather, you will either love it here, or you will hate it here. I fall into the latter category. Might I mention that as I type this, I really should be packing boxes for our move onto post 3 weeks from now, as we made that decision due to the fact that our new home is literally falling apart at the beams, and our 13 year old son is somewhere between becoming a thug, and being bullied by his peers. We have made the decision to move onto the what I now refer to as "the movie set," (thanks Heather) on the 19th of July. And here in lies my love part of the relationship. I feel as if by trying to live off of the base, and in the civilian sector, I have made a huge mistake. Almost as if denying my wifely servitude in the Army, and I almost feel that for doing so, I'm being punished in some perverse way. You see, that in almost 10 years, we have only lived off post for one duty station, until now. Although, I'm not sure that the first station really counted as off post as we were literally right outside the gate! It was almost like living on post--every family on our block was an Army family; we all were friends, we took part in everyone's kid's birthday parties, and 4th of July was a big BBQ.

Have you ever seen the Walgreens commercial where everything is perfect? When I think of our time living in housing, that is the vision I see (with the exception of the actual house we lived in for 6 weeks when we first got to Fort Knox, LOL, the neighborhood itself was spot on though.) I miss living in that kind of neighborhood. I miss having friends surrounding me and my family. And even though, I'd never admit it otherwise, I miss the idea of my neighbor knowing everything that is going on in my life, and vice versa, and knowing the families that my children play with, and hang out with. I love how you can walk down any given street in the village, and see an American flag stationed on the front of almost every house, and how most houses have some sort of "Home is Where the Army Sends You" sign or plaque hanging somewhere on or in their home. I love how everyone in the neighborhoods know one another, and have get togethers on a regular basis. You see and hear happy children playing outside, and riding their bikes around the neighborhood because they can, and not have to worry about getting run over by some schmuck racing his car down your street just because there's a hill and he wants to see how fast he can get the car to go down said hill.

There's another thing that I miss about being on post that I didn't realize that I missed until yesterday while waiting for my son's football game to begin at 5:00. This thing momentarily erased all bad feelings that I harbored against my husband's employer. It was witnessing and taking part in retreat. The time of the day, that ends the day in the military. The moment they play the bugel, and retreat the flag down it's pole, to fold it up, and put away until the dawn of the next duty day. At  this moment, you instantly feel like you are part of something bigger than you can imagine, hearing the cannons fire brings a chill down your spine as the hairs stand up on your arm. Every person at that moment stops what they are doing, (to include the morbidly obese lady holding the burrito in her right hand that I just had to include because she cracked me up when she held said burrito behind her back instead of placing her right hand over her heart!)faces at attention toward the direction of the flag during the entire ceremony. For those few moments, life stops still, and it is an awesome sight to witness, to be a part of, and to behold, because you know that nobody outside of the military would understand what that moment means.

For those reasons, I cannot say that I do not love our life in the Army. I guess the saying "I'm married to the Army" is true...It's kind of like a marriage. My husband makes me mad, but I still love him. I guess I can view his job in the same context. Because his job is so much more than employment, it's part of our lives and who we are. I'm proud of the fact that my 4 year old knows to stand still with his hand over his heart to watch the flag retreat. I'm glad that he and his siblings will know that our flag stands for so much more to this country than just something to pledge allegience to at school every morning. I'm glad that we will be moving back to a place where respect for others is something taught to the majority as opposed to where we live at the moment.

I'm so looking forward to the 19th of July when we get the keys to that red brick colonial house built in 1940. It will be a much smaller place, it's definitely not new, but I am determined to make it our home. I honestly think that in moving, things will feel less like purgatory, and maybe, just maybe a little closer to dare I say perfect for the next however long we are chained to this God forsaken post, LOL! I say this because I really thought that I hated Fort Knox when we moved there, and by the time it came for us to leave, I was very sad..not for David to leave his job there, but to leave our home..our community, and our friends. Let's hope that our move brings about as many blessings as our time at every other post where we were happy...