The Love of a Brother

If any of you have siblings, then you know what it is like to have someone in your life that you can constantly annoy, compete with, and fight with. You would also know what it is like to have unconditional love for them, and someone who will have your back when life turns against you...well in most families that is, unless your family puts the "fun" in dysfunctional. At any rate, with four kids in our house, things are always very hectic, there is usually never a quiet moment, and the arguments are plenty--with the exception of Jayson and Anthony for the most part.

My fourteen year old son Jayson, and my seven year old son Anthony get along perfectly (quite the contrary to my sister and I who are the exact age difference). They are so close that I was just telling someone the other day that I do not ever recall a time where Anthony and Jayson have ever fought. You will never know how monumental that fact was to me. Anthony is going through a tough time..he has a temper, and he is having a hard time controlling that temper. While the most affectionate, loving child you could ever want, he is also not the type of child that you can confront head on with anything, and he does not transition well with changes. Because of this, every day is carefully planned to include letting him know in advance what his day will consist of, down to the simplest things like letting him know in the morning that he can have an hour afterschool to go out and play, and then he will come inside and do his homework. Emphasizing that he cannot be angry when I tell him it's time to come in. I have to let him know in the morning that he will go to bed at eight o'clock, and when I tuck him in, I have to remind him that he will have to get up early for school and that he cannot get angry about that fact. It's tiring, and frustrating, and I would not wish this on any parent.

There is nothing more heartbreaking than having your child melt down and tell you that they hate you. Having to watch them lose control, and punch your husband because they are so angry over something like him saying that he cannot stay up as late as his older brother, and it's time to get ready for bed...or that it's time to practice math facts when they were not expecting to do so because they literally cannot mentally handle something out of the blue, or a non-structured bedtime schedule. Let me add that these are not normal tantrums, and I do not spoil my children. Their actions have consequences. This is a legitimate issue in which normal consequences do not apply.  Because of this I have the planning of Anthony's day down to a science, or at least I'm working very hard to do so. My afternoons are gone, I spend them with him, sitting beside him during homework time because he wants me there. I've now realized that I have to prepare dinner before he gets home because otherwise we will eat at seven!

I made a mistake yesterday morning. I woke up late, and was then running late. I asked Jayson to go upstairs, wake Anthony and have him get dressed for school while I prepared breakfast. I should not have done that. Anthony did not want to get up, and Jayson wanting to make sure that Anthony got up and dressed for school, decided to dress Anthony for school while he was trying to sleep.

This resulted in the first argument that I have ever seen between Anthony and Jayson, and the first thing that came to my mind was, "Why on Earth did I open my mouth and say that I had never witnessed a fight between them?" I called Jayson downstairs before things escalated and explained that I realized that he was trying to help me, and that he was not in trouble,  but next time to just come get me. I then went right into calming Anthony down mode. I had him come downstairs and sit in his area by the front door to calm himself down. Then I reiterated to Jay that he was not in trouble. We also talked about how not to deal with Anthony when he's mad, and Jay felt bad. He tried to apologize to Anthony, and Anthony would not accept Jay's apology.

While I was talking with Anthony, trying to put the mental pieces back together in time for him to go to school, Jay took it upon himself to assemble the lunches for the day. I was very thankful for his help yesterday morning, and so happy to see how mature and responsible he has become. His help kept me from falling apart. Before I took Anthony to school, Jayson apologized to him again for trying to get him dressed while he was still in bed. Anthony finally accepted the apology, but did not offer any apology in return.

As we were driving home from school yesterday afternoon, Anthony told me that when he opened his lunch, Jayson had written a note on his napkin. He said, " I love you little brother." That melted my heart, and I think it also made Anthony realize that he had no reason to flare up at Jay the way he did, because he apologized to Jay as soon as he walked in from basketball practice. Once again they were best friends, and all was well. Jayson taught me a valuable lesson in forgiveness yesterday...and a valuable lesson in how to be a brother--or sister. He showed me that your brothers or sisters are who they are, but they are always your siblings, and you need to get past what they do wrong, and let them know that you still love them.

I love my children for many reasons. I'll admit that I often wonder why I was given such challenging children to raise. I now realize that even as adults we still have many lessons to learn. Some of us are a little harder to teach. My children are giving me a wealth of knowlege that I need to put toward better use...

Farts are Funny, Farts are Cute...Farts are Sh#t Without the Mess...

Anyone who has children knows that at one time or another, your children will receive gifts that you wish they didn't. You know what I'm talking about, those loud obnoxious toys with lights and sounds, that when the children aren't looking we stealthly slide the switch to off. The ones where once the batteries die, we make up a fib that we don't have enough batteries, can't find the batteries, or we will go buy more batteries...with full intention of not replacing them. While the toy I'm speaking of was extremely obnoxious, I can't say that I have ever switched it off, or lied about replacing batteries. It has disappeared a time or two (not by my hand), and thankfully been recovered. I've even saved it from the hallowed depths of my washing machine by checking my son's pockets before throwing his pants in. It was temporarily lost in our past move, which was devastating for my son Anthony, but thankfully recovered. It was The Fartmaster.

For Anthony's 6th birthday, more than anything else, he wanted a "fart machine." I had no idea where to begin the search for such an item. In fact, I believe that I was pretty sure that I really didn't want to embark on that search. One of my friends who lives in North Carolina, happened to be at a little trinket store, and found by accident The Fartmaster. Being the thoughtful lady that she is, and I totally adore you chica..you know who you are! She sent Anthony The Fartmaster. She didn't tell me that she had found it, she didn't tell me what she was sending...I remember her saying "It's a surprise! You have to let me know when you get it."

I knew right away what I was in for when I checked the mail the day it arrived. As I am bent over pulling the mail out of my mailbox (we have those silly mail kiosks, and our box was toward the bottom of the kiosk), I grabbed the padded envelope, and it farted! Thank goodness nobody else was nearby, they may have thought it was me! When Anthony tore into the package, he resembled Ralphy from "A Christmas Story" unwrapping his Red Rider Air Rifle. He was so excited. After all of the gifts that he had received for his birthday, this little fart machine on a key ring, was the greatest gift he could have received. The joy on his face was unforgettable, and he immediately went to work making his siblings and myself "fart." The smiles, and giggles were intoxicating since David was deployed, and unable to be here for his birthday. I was in bliss seeing them all so happy.

The Fartmaster even inspired a "fart war" in my house when my parents came for the holidays that year. My Dad went to Spencers and purchased his own fart machine that had a wireless remote, allowing him to hide the speaker in different places and use the remote to set off farts when unsuspecting children were around. My house was full of happiness and flatulence for the holidays in 2009...thank goodness it was only of the electronic nature!

Over the months The Fartmaster continued to bring much joy to my children, especially Anthony. Although, I have to say that I wasn't thrilled when he brought it to the grocery store on a couple of occasions. Overall, I have to admitt that of all of the toys my kids have received over the years that make sounds, this has been the most tolerable. Nobody knows for sure how the little fart machine met it's demise. Did the battery finally fail from over use? One thing I know for sure is that the last time I saw it work was two days ago when Anthony hid it on Dave's leather club chair. Unbeknownst to him, he sat on it, and due to the placement on the leather, it let out a louder sound...it was hysterical! Could the weight of my hubby have killed it? We'll never know. Dare I say that I might actually miss it? I may. Will I replace it? I'm not sure yet...

My version of the Cascades...Mt. Laundry & Mt. Dishes.

On a clear day, I can see Mt. Rainier from my front yard. It is one of the most spectacular things one can imagine seeing, and I feel lucky everyday for being able to see something so beautiful. One of the things that made me happy for moving back to the west coast was being able to see real mountains again. In my book, mountains covered in trees are not mountains. I want to see the hard, jagged rock protruding out of the ground, glowing in hughs of purple, blue, and orange in the backdrop of the evening sunset. What I totally detest seeing is the mountain ranges that crop up in my home on a daily basis.

Why is it so hard for me to keep up on my laundry and dishes? With six people in my family, I have at least a load of laundry every single day. If I miss a day, I'm screwed. Dishes are no better. I try to be green and not use paper plates, and plastic silverwares, but seriously, I spend a chunk of my day in the kitchen between cooking and cleaning it up! What is a girl to do?

I'm a realist. I know that the idea of not throwing clothes after one wear into the laundry is lost upon my children. I also realize that my hubby's job requires him to wear PT's in the morning for workout, and a full uniform each day. My people eat breakfast, they eat lunch, they eat dinner, and snacks in between. These foods must be cooked in something. I know that there will never be an end to the circular file of laundry and dishes, it's just nice to be able to vent about it...

FINALLY Almost Settled In!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! It's been a while, I know. We moved, school started, and then came the holidays--and the cold weather! I realize it's winter, but I've been accustomed to HEAT in my house over the course of my life. We have come to realize during this long holiday weekend of sub freezing temperatures that some of the radiators in our house are not working. Compiled with the fact that our 1940's home has the original exterior doors, and single pane windows...well, I'm in my own personal ice box thank you very much. I say this while I am sitting on the loveseat in my living room dressed in winter clothes from head to toe..to include socks and slippers, whilst covered in a quilt with my Shih tzu peacefully snoozing on top of my feet to keep them warm. Meanwhile, I can hear my neighbor's daughter playing "The Spinning Song" on their piano which happens to be on the shared wall between their living room and ours.


Ahh, the joys of living in military housing. It's actually not that bad. I'm enjoying the fact that my husband is still able to be home  by 6:30 pm (because he doesn't have a 45min. commute). I like the fact that I can walk my son to school, and that the grocery store is less than 2 miles away. The close proximity to grocery shopping has proved to be worth it's weight in gold during the last few weeks (the holidays). David ran countless trips to the store for me to pick up items that I needed.[Really, how could I run out of ginger when I knew that I was going to make Gingerbread Cookies??? Better yet, how could I have forgotten to pick it up when I was grocery shopping?] Thank goodness the holidays or over, and I can stop cooking, and spending so much money at the grocery store.


Yes, indeed the holidays have concluded, and all things must go back to normal. The kids go back to school tomorrow, and Dave and I will take down the tree, and put away the decorations. Kind of funny that his last day off is spent "working". We will no doubt quickly return to the fast pace with work functions, school functions, and field problems. Hopefully the fast pace will return with some warmer weather...