At the risk of being verbally acosted by people that I know and love dearly, I am going to go out on a limb and say REALLY? SERIOUSLY, a day of appreciation for military spouses? Don't get me wrong, I love every one of my "sisters." I agree whole heartedly with my husband when he says that it takes a special brand of woman to be an Army spouse. The question that weighs heavily on my mind with a day like this is, since when did military spouses become a special brand of woman worthy of public appreciation?
Here's my take on the matter. When a couple gets married, they take vows to love, honor, cherish...stick it out for better for worse, and in sickness and health, good times and bad, richer and poorer--you get the idea. In my eyes, I happen to be lucky enough to have married a Soldier. A man who has a heart of gold, and an unwavering love and respect for his country. These values that my husband, and everyone one of his brothers in arms possess in and of themselves should not be considered special. The fact is that we all as Americans should hold these same values. Unfortunately, not everyone does, but in this country, everyone is free to feel the way they want. At any rate, before I get too far up on my soap box, I married a Soldier. What I do as his wife is not a job. What I do is not worthy of pitty from others (as I have received on occasion from various people), and in my eyes, is not worthy of public appreciation.
What I do as an Army spouse is the same thing that every other spouse SHOULD be doing; be a loving and supportive wife. I took my vows, as did everyone of my "sisters" and I took them with the same verosity, and moral respect that my husband and their husbands did.Why should that be something to be celebrated by a happy few? Shouldn't being a loving and supportive spouse be something to be celebrated by ALL, regardless of if you are part of a military family or not? Granted, in the Army, our lives are more chaotic than others, and we deal with much more sadness and grief than most on the outside of our "family" will ever deal with in a lifetime. This is the life we have chosen. It is part of who we married. With all of the sadness and grief we bear witness to also comes much joy, loyalty, and respect for others, and more love and devotion than others will see in their lifetime as well.
While my husband may work terrible hours, and is gone more often than not, he supports me in our joint family venture 100%. He provides for us, and he does his part to ensure that our children for many future generations will have a safe home to grow up in. He is my biggest cheerleader with any endeavor I may embark upon. Not to mention that in addition to his support, I have a huge family of "sisters" who support me as well, and cheer me on when I need it most. We all appreciate each other on a daily basis whether it be thru a phone call to a far away friend, or asking your neighbor if she needs you to pick something up at the store while you're out, or pimping out your husband to hang Christmas lights on the house of your neighbor who's husband is deployed. I am in awe and humbled to be in the ranks of such wonderful, devoted, strong women. I personally do not feel that I need a holiday to celebrate the fact that I'm an Army spouse, or a day to appreciate me. For being a loving and supportive spouse is what I signed up for when I said "I do." I have chosen to not cut and run when things get rough. Maybe instead of having a day of appreciation, everyone should look upon the military spouse and her/his soldier/sailor/airman/marine, and see them as an example of what marriage and truely unconditional love should look like and follow suit. That would be the highest level of appreciation anyone could give. And it's appreciation well worth receiving.
As I said before, I'm sure I will be verbally acosted by those who don't agree. However, to my Army family, I LOVE YOU ALL, and I cannot imagine life without you guys in it!
Well said and written. I was a military kiddo, so I understand what it takes, but only from the kids point of view.
ReplyDeleteFor being a loving and supportive spouse is what I signed up for when I said "I do.~~ I am curious, do you celebrate mothers day? or does that too fall under what you signed up for by giving birth?
ReplyDeleteI do understand the concept of thought you expresses. While I share your sentiment....being a honorable wife (whether military or civilian) should be viewed as the norm, not the exception. I see no harm in celebrating military wives and all it means. And while in a civilian world, there are many dangerous careers that foster a sense of comradeship and sisterhood within the spousal community. Be it Firemen, Policemen...etc. They too come with certain perks....I have rarely know a cops wife to ever receive a ticket....lol To celebrate the spouse of the solider,airmen,seaman or marine. To have one moment of recognition (albeit recognition that is only within the military community) for me is a simple no harm no foul. And it it gives you one extra holiday in the year that you may get to spend with your spouse :)
So since he missed the last 2 birthdays, anniversaries and mother's days.....I will take as spouse appreciation day .....Free massage and all :)